Let's Somberly Observe Memorial Day — It’s Not Happy for Everyone
It was a rainy Memorial Day Weekend in suburbia. But real estate broker Kathi Jaffe and mortgage advisor Alex Flores (or some Boy Scouts earning extra money) beat the downpour just in time to flood a quiet neighborhood with some advertising that violates the U.S. Flag Code.¹
§8. Respect for flag (h): The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.
Identical American flags adorned with oversized business cards for two realtors making the wrong name for themselves lined every street.
Memorial Day is not the Fourth of July for Veterans. It is not “happy”. It is our national attempt to say “I’m sorry for your loss” to the families left behind, to honor the Veterans who don’t come home. For families who lost loved ones, “Happy” Memorial Day isn’t a celebration; it’s their most painful anniversary.
When Kathi-the-realtor is trying to sell homes based on the sloganeering sentimentality of the “land of the free because of the brave”, as her business card says, and plants an American flag in literally every yard in the neighborhood, it feels opportunistic if not outright exploitative.
It would’ve been more respectful to let any potential customers see one American flag in her own office window and on her website and social media rather than staking hundreds of flags in strangers’ grass in a shallow attempt to associate her business with feel-good patriotism.
And not to sound too “Get off my lawn,” but everyone is already inundated with advertising. Who wants more shoved into their actual lawn?
Make no mistake, this promotional swag is no reverent coin on a gravestone or a hand over the heart.
Exploitative holiday marketing isn’t unique to Memorial Day or Veterans Day. Kathi and Alex aren’t the only businesses guilty of insensitivity. We will use any holiday to sell anything. If someone can monetize the mints in your grandmother’s purse, they will. But Memorial Day isn’t happy for anyone who has lost a loved one. It’s a gutwrenching anniversary of their greatest loss and the ultimate sacrifice.
We have become culturally tone-deaf to a holiday that needs to strike a more somber tone than bonanza-trumpeting about three days of BBQs. Think “moment of silence” instead of fireworks and HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY blowout sales.
Not to sound unduly cynical about sentimentality right between Mother’s and Father’s Day, but whether some holidays were invented for profit or not wouldn’t have stopped this kind of profiteering. It is an inevitability of capitalism.
I don’t begrudge anyone their excitement for the long weekend. Americans work long hours for stagnant wages and outrageously inaccessible health care. A little R & R goes a long way. Maybe if Americans were in better health and had more time or money or child care, they would also have more headspace to reflect on our egregiously outsized military budget compared to the rest of the world,² the way we use Veterans like military equipment, how “poverty is the draft”, or the grieving families who dread this weekend every year.
Whether you’re hawking products online or real estate in the suburbs, the same strategy that might strike the right “patriotic” note for some buyers will be offensive to others and can trigger painful memories.
If Kathi-the-realtor really believes that the military gives us our freedom, she should’ve redirected her tiny-flag money as tax-deductible donations to any number of veterans organizations.
Check out the USO, Wounded Warrior Project, and Vietnam Veterans of America. Do your research to learn more about the specific mission and ranking of each NGO. And check for keywords and closely named scam organizations to make sure that your contribution actually supports veterans.Whether you’re hawking products online or real estate in the suburbs, the same strategy that might strike the right “patriotic” note for some buyers will be offensive to others and can trigger painful memories.
If Kathi-the-realtor really believes that the military gives us our freedom, she should’ve redirected her tiny-flag money as tax-deductible donations to any number of veterans organizations.
Check out the USO, Wounded Warrior Project, and Vietnam Veterans of America. Do your research to learn more about the specific mission and ranking of each NGO. And check for keywords and closely named scam organizations to make sure that your contribution actually supports veterans.
Never underestimate what a deployment does to the loved ones back home, holding their breath for an entire year, hoping that no one will show up at their door with a folded flag and a “regret to inform”.
For far too many American families, the brave don’t come home. Maybe the last thing these heartbroken families want, year after year, is to get stuck in the jubilant sales and three-day traffic glut that Memorial Day has become. And then find that Kathi-the-realtor is capitalizing on the deaths of lost loved ones to get a competitive edge in an oversaturated market by sticking tiny American flags in their grass.
This kind of advertising violates the U.S. Flag Code.
And it’s technically littering.
Let’s do better.
Dearest Gold Star Families, I’m so sorry for your loss. May you find support in your own communities and in a respectful American culture that somberly observes your most painful sacrifice.